by Tab Moura
When this year began, my goals seemed so open and shut. I had multiple big opportunities on the horizon, and I just knew that this would be a year that launched me toward bigger and better things. I chose a word for this year, “fire,” thinking that this would be one of those “this girl is on fire,” cute and empowering kinda things.
Little did I know, 2020 would be as cute and cuddly as a dumpster fire. Every curve ball imaginable has been thrown— by a flaming trebuchet.
Don’t get me wrong, I still find quite a bit of value in the word I have meditated on this year, but it wasn’t the lesson I expected to learn. I learned that fires are wild, they teach us about grief, releasing control and even growth. Sometimes they are literal, we see that with the wildfires in Australia, and across the west coast region.
Fires are devastating, as loss always is, but in nature fires are also catalysts for new growth. Just as we wish we could control the big, messy, out of control things like viruses and wildfires, we also see the transformation that takes place in response to these events.
The response I’ve seen within myself, my community, and the world, gives me mixed feelings. No matter your spiritual or political beliefs, we can all reflect on 2020 with a sobering grief. Maybe you’re close to the flames, maybe not. The losses we all experienced this year are not far from our minds.
I am going to hold space for loss, without elaborating on it here. Today I want to focus on the growth that is only possible because of loss.
When I was young my family visited Yellowstone National Park. We drove through an area of the park that had been swept by wildfires a few years prior. The Park Ranger we met explained that in the forest there are layers of leaf litter with acorns underneath.
When a fire passes through, the lower layers of the leaf litter are mostly preserved, with the heat allowing the acorns to open and new trees will begin to grow. In some cases “prescribed fires” are used to help lower the risk of catastrophic wildfires. This is done by reducing the amount of brush and crowding of trees. Along with reducing brush, a controlled burn helps return nutrients to the soil, a process that normally takes years of decomposing.
The point is, while fires have a cost, fires can also have benefits.
I realize that 2020 wasn’t a year with heaps of good news, so I’m not suggesting that the wildfire that touched your life was a gift… I’m saying that in lieu of the chaos that was beyond our control, we can look for the new growth. The acorns that are opening up in the wake. What new growth is at your feet? What new life is on the horizon? Your perspective can nourish the world around you.