The Door Closed


by James Bridges

There was laughter coming from the other room. I walked in and noticed a familiar someone laughing with another on a sofa. The blurred faces caused me to wipe my eyes, but to no avail.

I walked closer.

I started to realize that this was me. But was it? I was me… Confusion set in as I rounded the couple, somehow unnoticed.

He, I mean me, I mean whoever, was laughing and carrying on with the other. I felt alone. They were having fun without me. Enjoying the evening with some sort of spirits in the air. Music was laying a nice bed for the atmosphere. It looked grand.

I was alone.

The one with the long hair and the blurred face began to caress the one who seemed to be “me”. I could tell he wasn’t me as he had a smile on his face that was slightly visible. He was enjoying the company. He wasn’t alone. It wasn’t the real me.

I watched as he pretended to be who he was. I watched him act and dance.
Face still blurred.

He left the room. She sat silently. It was at that moment that I discovered I was not alone. Her eyes became clear as she glanced my way. A little gesture to let me know she knows I am there. I smiled a little. I wondered how long she had been here.

She told me to be quiet and to watch what she does. “I’ll make him crawl and weep and you can save the day. It will be brilliant. This is all he needs.”

I watched.

I watched as he got his way. I watched as she played her role. She glanced up at me with an uncomfortable frequency to make sure I was still in the room. She did her will, then crushed his heart.
Exactly as she planned.

I waited for my turn. The one to make everything better. The one to cuddle when no one else is there. The one that really listens when you speak. The one that tries to understand your world. The only one that can really matter to any victim. I am the savior.

The storms will always be on the forefront no matter how many dances we do around the fire. We do not need to play the victim yet we still do. Toxic relationships exist. Especially the one within. We can become consumed by them or we can try to manage them.

It starts with you.