Where Is The Filling
By James Bridges
I noticed a hole inside of me and I needed to fill it.
The near sereal connection of my past and present resistance is overwhelming at times. I headed to an old abandoned feed mill.
I wanted to take some photos and reminisce. I stopped at a department store.
Immediately, I checked my appearance. I looked around. The people in the store seemed to all glance over. I tripped just enough as I walked forward to look around for an audience. I had one… Out of place, I nodded to an older gentleman as we passed and I noticed a concerned look given in return.
I started to sweat. I started feeling lonely. I had no close connection to the people in the store. I started to wonder if I would ever simply feel comfort. I could see the isle I was searching for now. I turned the corner and there was a person standing on the opposite end. He looked familiar. In some ways he looked off putting. There was a scar on his chest which was exposed for the world to see.
He started to speak. He asked me why I did what I did. I was puzzled. He wanted to know why I left him. He asked me why I always want to play with others and never with him. He reminded me that he was my friend. I remembered. He reminded me of when we were both children and I cared about him. I knew he was going to do something with his life. I also knew I would probably never get to see it.
I accepted the fact that he was gone a long time ago. A sudden and close to damaging slap went across my face as he screamed for me to wake up. He reminded me that he was the most pleasant person to ever be with. I should accept him back into my life. He wanted me to stop looking in the mirror out of vanity. He told me the demons don’t matter anymore. He wanted me to stop desiring to be out of myself. Then he invited me back in.
I looked at his eyes and I knew it was me. I gave him a hug and a promise. “I will never leave you again.”