By James Bridges
“There’s a door right up here. I know I keep it here, but no one else can.”
She tapped her head as she spoke.
Quietly I was aroused by the fact that I was invited into a realm of opportunity to see a person’s soul. She spoke with a gentle voice with the character only a true connoisseur of cannabis would portray. I was tuned in.
I hadn’t been feeling right in my head. As if there were such a thing, right. Electronic and gadgets aside, some broken, I followed the path of least resistance to heal my swelling demons. A conversation with a real human about real life shit. Little did I know it would turn into a mind opening experience.
Walking in what must have been an apparent cloud of confusion, I noticed and welcomed the calming effect of her words, however, her eyes told the real story.
I noticed her glance once or twice to the other door as she spoke of business partners and those that surround us both in our professional life. When her eyes met with mine the room shuttered.
She asked me to sit next to her. I knew she couldn’t speak loudly. It was too real for anyone to know. Curiously, I obliged.
She told me of a place where she knows herself. As a familiar place to me it was apparent there was a reason she was opening up.
She smiled as if I didn’t. She smiled as if she didn’t. I knew she did.
The doors of which we bar our true selves behind are but doors. They can and must be opened.
She told me of a place of flow. One of which I have been seeking all my life, it seems. One that makes sense to me. One that requires me to look in rather than out. It was a place of dreams. A place of content. A place with no holes to be filled. A place of understanding.
We both knew. We both had seen this realm that only existed in someone else. A tear rose to my eye as I fantasized about this space of happiness. One of which all innocence could return. One that we both knew was right there inside our head.
Right behind that closed door.